“One thing you can’t hide – is when you’re crippled inside.”
― John Lennon
When someone you loved and thought loved you hurts you, it can feel like a thousand daggers piercing your heart and your mind splinters into a million pieces – because everything you once knew about LIFE and LOVE dies at that moment of realization.
When Love turns to hate you learn to fear LOVE and LIFE because your trust is broken.
The flashbacks and nightmares still wake me even now and I can still taste the fear and I can feel my victim mindset taking over me….during these moments the hurt can seem new and the scars rip open and the wounds in your mind start to bleed all over again.
I find it hard shifting my focus into the here and now – where I am safe – especially when I revisit the past in dreams – I wake up in a panic and look around me and although I see my bedroom in the here and now I am seemingly trapped in the bedroom of the past – still very much afraid.
But I am here to tell you that the mind can recover and the heart can heal – it just takes time. Rebuilding yourself after Domestic Abuse is possible – but there are no quick fixes and there is no magic wand answers to heal the wounds held deep in your heart and mind.
I am a recovering victim….(oh how I despise that word!) I still feel the impact of abuse and I still feel the fear BUT I am one of the lucky ones because I escaped…I am free and I am a survivor….my heart and mind will eventually catch up with the reality of safety in the here and now…..till then I refuse to surrender to the darkness…I refuse to stagnate…I am no longer putting my hopes and dreams on hold….I will allow the buds of hope and trust to flower once more….I am going to LIVE and LOVE again.
keep shining and thriving – evie angel : )
evolutionofevie 
I think one of the most difficult aspects the process is to transition from recovery to renewal. I think it is very insightful to be repulsed by the moniker of recovery because there is something beyond. While recovery is a real and necessary step, it is not the final destination where we stand in renewal. Perhaps little is done in the area of support in this area because in some ways it breaks the need for those who step in to assist in recovery to continue to be needed. I do not think it is a conscious effort to keep people in a cycle of recovery, just a function of the difficulty of the more arduous and individual journey to learn to “LIVE and LOVE again”: Sounds like you are on your way.
Blessings The Wisdom of Life – I still have bumps and stagnations as I journey forward but I have a Rebel Thriver heart and my courage stillroars : )